'she thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking and poses for pictures that aren't being taken...'

Title: John Mayer - Comfortable. I love the lyrics to this song and it just made me think, there's alot more to people then just the public 'face' they put on, a different side than the one they want everyone to see... John Mayer is amazing. :)

Hey again,
i felt like writing and was just thinking, you know, i guess i'm quite a solitary person, i mean, i love people and all but i guess i'd rather be on my own or with a like minded, easy person. I love walks, the hand in hand type, just wandering round not needing to speak, not needing to do anything or go anywhere nice. Just being with that one person is enough, you know?
So, i went for a walk earlier, not that far though as i obviously don't know the area.. at all.
But i sort of guessed and yeah haha, it was alright i guess, i was just thinking about things, people, stuff. I was thinking, it seem's as if this year has flown by, i know it's a bit of a clique but, this year hs been the best year so far i think, at school. I mean i'v met so many important and distinct individuals i'v grown closer and drifted from so many people as well, i have changed my outlook on life too and i have got an amazing boyfriend who i really feel comfortable with. I'v kind of realised what it is i'm reaching for at the moment, I mean, i find it really hard to concentrate in school, but i'v been told i can achieve top grades A's & A*'s by my teachers but i don't seem to realise that this is my whole life now, i can't just blow it away on mindless chat you know, but even with realising this i still can't seem to settle down, which really is annoying because, i need to work this out it's not just a joke now, i don't have a second chance and i need to really work now, properly.
I'v also been thinking about college and what i'm doing after school and stuff and i'v realised i have no idea what career path i'm planning on taking, i mean, i know i want to go to college and uni, but if i don't know my career path, how am i going to figure out what subjects i want to take at college and such it's acually not that far away.It's wierd to think that soon we're going to be practically completely responible fort everything, for the rest of our lives, no planning or help from anyone else it's all upto us, i find that very daunting, a very big step, into adult life, into independance, of course it's a good thing it'll just take alot of getting used to. It's been playing on my mind alot recently not just that but what i'm actually going to do after school, college and in genweral life, you can only take 4 subjects can't you at AS level and then 3 at A level, is that right? Or vice versa i don't know but i think i'm planning on taking english media/lit, biology, chemistry and either phsycology or sociology, but at the same time i'd love to take a creative subject as i feel i can really express myself, but i need to know what i'm planning on doing in the distant future if i can plan for the near future, it all has an effect right? But I really don't know at the moment. I'd love to take photography at college but then again, my dad taught photography as a lecturer at college so i can learn everything off him whilst getting my four much needed A levels. Which i guess is a plus side, but i'd love to take a creative subject maybe art & design or something? Maybe i could take that at uni, possibly, geez, i need to think carefuly and so much more about this, it's not just a pointless, no brain decision, it's my life.
Oh, and my phones ran out of battery so if you text me any important things i wont be able to reply until tommorow as i'm catchingthe train back and my ipod's very low on battery so i'm saving it for the journey home, even so, i need to think so much more about everything.
Izzy's day party... what's that all about i just got an MSN message from her asking if i'm going. What's going on? Sounds pretty alright though, i'll probs end up going, havn't seen most of the group in a while, i miss the whole general gang, i mean there's so many different personalities and types of people, it's fabulous that we're all like, good friends. :)
Sorry, my blogs are always so long and i guess i really should go now. :/Sarah will be back in a minute anyways so i can't get into explaining everything i want to at the moment and i can't really explain everything anyway, it's just...wierd but she'll be using the computer, she's out taking the dog for a walk and my brother's shouting for me to go help him on COD5 (which i must admit i'm getting pretty into, but i am a complete n00b at it haha) so.. thanks for listening, reading, whatever i'm actually really glad i have this now, 'cos you can get to it anywhere if there's a computer and internet connection (which these day's is practically everywhere) and just writing things down makes it all alot clearer in your head, whoever had the idea of blogspot is a genius! Thank's again BlogSpot. I know i say it all to often but you know.
I'm out for now. :)
Sadie.