i think that to be pretty you have to have an appealing and attractive personality and that's what makes you attractive i.e humour, caring, happy, trustworthy etc. If you were gorgeous on the outside but manipulative and a superfical 'sheep' at heart i would think you were vain, naive and aspired to nothing but shallow, materialistic consumerism and superficial dreams.
S. :) Night.

If you want to be happy, find some way to make it happen.

Enter the cage.

The thoughts caged inside my mind, struggling to escape. Occasionally break free from my crazed, excited head. I relax for a moment and there gone, free on the wind, open to the critiscism and insults. Free to make there own way to listening ears that are ready for change.

I do believe that love means never having to say 'I love you.' but what if you want to say it, just to emphasise the point?

Apparently...

CANCER - HARD LOVER
(6/22-7/22)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Normally not a Fighter, but will if neccessary. Someone loves them right now.

“ I feel more comfortable talking to strangers than people I know. I believe this is because, chances are, I’ll never see them ever again, and I feel like I can say anything I want. They don’t know my past or what I’ve done. They can only judge me on who they are seeing right at that second. I’m the person I am now, not then. People I know don’t see the difference. ” - http://idareyoutoclickthis.tumblr.com/ - Check it out. <3


Give and take. Live and let live. Forgive and forget.
Words we say but never mean.
When someone says frogive and forget they can't mean it! I mean, you can't forget something that made you say this in the first place, it just stiks in your mind, at the back of your mind which ever now and then,those momns of happiness decides to jump put and make you think again. And when you to forgive you always think secretly that the person isn't as close or you don't trust them, so your not genuinly whole heartedly forgiving or forgetting. But i guess it's what you show on the outside that people take note of even if secretly they're thinking the exact same and know exactly what your thinking.

So today was.. pretty shit if i'm honest. Sorry for the pointless profanity but i really didn't enjoy today that much. Tres boring, Tres unamusing, Tres pointless. Tres being HIGHLY. But afterschool Me and Maddy bought a milky way whilst waiting for the bus. :) Highlight of the day! :) I went to Tom's last night was fab! :) No xbox though sadly HAHA. And this rumour, Seriously Peaches i will attack you with a cream topped machete (Liam haha.) you and your bloody crotch revealing dresses. :F But it's just funny and as long as the people i care about know it's not true then i'm not fussed. :)
S. rain, mud and milky ways. :)

exactly one month till christmas. Better start saving ay? :)
i love christmas, family, laughter, the decorations on the trees, even the cold crisp weather as we're all inside warm and jolly and it's crisp and sparkling outside with a robin perched on the icy, wooden slats of the fence. The frost looks as delicate and intricate as lace, softly draped over every visible surface. :)
the days are shorter, the trees are bare but we have christmas to look forward to.
But one thing i'm worried about is exams!I have science exams two weeks after we get back, then the real stress and worry begins! I'll discuss more sone other time, sleep is needed.
S.

Love After Love.

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life

Everybody, needs somebody!

:) Life is great but just one thing, don't drink alot of yazoo strawberry milkshake. :/
<3

Eurgh, i feel as if i'm not worthy atm. As though i do nothing right except make mistakes and prove myself to be a douche. I wish i could be like i used to be. Confident and carefree. No particular reason why i feel like this just lots of little ones and i'm rather hormonal atm and very stressed. A sleepover needed soon one thinks!
Chai latte's & hot baths with Radox, that'll do the trick.

i really should get tumblr.

'Everyone wants to be your sun. I don't, I want to be your moon so i can brighten up your darkest moments when your sun isn't around.'
- Iareangeline.tumblr

Go baby, go baby, go...

So, i'm now ungrounded, Tom came over earlier even if i was grounded. :S :F tenimet dad in Bostons for chai latte and a bagel we discussed my ungrounding and dad's decided i have to make a public apology on facebook to make up for it!! HAAAH.
After that we headed to the square where the Noisettes and a few shitty bands were playing. The noisettes were amazing! Really down to earth and Shinghai or however you spell it sounded like a really fab person, i'd love to like go down out with her shopping or something haha! But yeah, it was a realy good night. They came to turn on the christmas lights! She has an amazing voice!
We had candyfloss and Katy bought a huge green lightsaber for £6 which eded up being broken by a certain Asian by the end of the night was fun for a while though maha! :)
Anyways,was a good end to the weekend. Tom then came round for like 3/4's of an hour and stuff that was good. :)
More practising for i sing of a maiden tommorow which will be good. :) I havn't seen Maddy all this weekend which is unusual but we did plan to go out saturday btu of course i was grounded. But now, i'm freeeeee! :)
But i do have to write a draft analysis and colour and perfect my comic as it's not quite right yet, theres something about it... :S
Then i think i'ma write in... 'THE BIG, BLACK, BOOK!' that's right.
I shall also be having a nice relaxing hot bubble bath! :)
Toodles. S. Lights, Noisettes and a bloody good night! :) jealous of Kath!? he met the drummer on the train! <3

Itunes, tea and tumblr..

So, my second day of grounding! It sucks! I feel like i'm unde house arrest and had the worst 'monthly pains' if you get the jist! Haha. :S
So yeah, itunes, tea and tumblr has been the components of my day keeping me sane! Oh and of course MSN!But i've only been talking to one person... guess. Haha.
:) I actually ADORE tumblr in particular icanread i dareyoutoclickthis justgowithaclassic (HLy) and stillramblingon (izzy) check them out I LOVE THEM! <3 heres a few i love...




May blog again later.
S. Typography, limewire and MSN messenger.
<3

Owl city - Vanilla Twilight.

Beautiful lyrics...

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue,
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find opposing new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

S. Sinking deep into the vanilla twilight.

:/ Yeah, i know studies are REALLY important and i'm SO worried about them but i miss spending the time with you, talking, laughing, smiling.
I love how sometimes i can feel you smiling when we kiss. :)
And how your hands slot perfectly into place with mine.

You can do anything if you think outside the box.

Being respectful is hard to do when it means doing nothing. - Icanread.tumblr.com

It's sad when people you know become you people knew.
You can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life, you used to be able to talk to for hours and now you barely even acknowledge.

Whenever i'm happy your there or nearby, that's gotta mean something great right? :)

Plans, plots and fails.

Ok, so today was a good day, well on the scale of things it was the worst day so far.
We had our reports and mine came to be a real shock BUT alot of the grades were based on our mocks and tbh i didn't revise much due to to coursework etc and i now have a plan to get my life back on track, (i got mainly B' and C's (N)) but I have a plan and if i stick at it i know i'll be able to get the A's i can achieve. I mean, this has been stressing me out for ages but today i let it out and just burst out crying but i know can get on top of things if i try! So, bring on the hard work and good grades, i'm ready to get stuck in! I have already proved this theory in english, in english last year i was talking and got B's and this year i havn't talked and i have been putting a lot of effort in, on my report i got 3 A's so it just shows what i can do if i want something that much. :) Also in terms of practicing wise it sucked we asked Tom, Danny and Hannah if they could come and listen to our 'I sing of a maiden' in front of girls we are fine and rather good if i do say so myself but in front of 2 guys (one of whom is he person i want to impress and seem good in front of),awkardly after alot of crying, me shaking and being very nervous we failed miserably, so if we practice more in front of people and such we should get better!
S. On a low yet high note. :)

-I just love it when you have a plan and you KNOW i'll work.

GOD, i'm so stressed atm,reading this helped.


'It’s not that I’m happy, because trust me, I wouldn’t call this happy, It’s just that i get annoyed when you worry. Because I think we both know that your too good for me, so when your annoyed with me, it’s a waste of time. You can tell me that it isn’t, adn that you care, but deep down, I will still always worry about it.Thats why I haven’t told you abotu it all yet, how much I don’t like where I am in life, but how afraid of the change I am going to take. How stressed I am, my parents think i’m into something, I barely speak, there are no words to leave these lips that could reassure them. It’s not that i’m happy, it’s because I love you. I want you to be happy, screw me, it’s you. Yer, the tunnel is dak, but the light is brighter. So by keeping it in, tellign you i’m fine, seeing you happy, I become elated. And happiness takes over. I would call it balance.
'
This is a piece by Holly and i LOVE it.

Heres a few awesome things i just LOVE.

Peeling the plastic off a new ipod or mobile or anything generally with a screen it's SO satisfying.
Realising your first love, that's just fabulous.
When you've done something MLIA worthy.
When your complimented.
When you've watched a realy good film with a bestie or boyfriend.
When you've finally completed something well after hours of annoyance.
Remeber the theme tune to your favourite childhood programmes.
Finding things that you havn't seen for years!
eing the first one in th batle to reachthe crunchisleaf on the pavement an feeling a sense of achievement.
Car journeys in the dark.
Happy strangers.
Not having to stop for traffic lights when approaching the road when walking.
Awkward silences, sometimes there just neccessary and i love the jokes that often break them, there'd be no well timed jokes without the awkwardness.
Relising that a picture is just about to be taken and jumping in front/in the background and smiling/posing cheesily.
Google mystery.
When you turn on you phone after a day of no battery or no signal and realise you have texts waiting.
The fablous feeling of waking up early on a schoolday seeing a very rare fall of crisp snow and almost screaming with joy!
Overplaying your new found favourite song.
When you burst into hysterics and can't stop laughing and then laugh at thefact you can't remeber what your laughing at, and one person joins the convo when your in hysterics and you just look at the other person laughing and laugh harder!
Jumping a lot of steps in one single bound.
Laughng to yourself.
I always get satisfaction out of the noise of emptying the recycle bin on my computer.
When you try to sleep and the air around you is crisp and you wrap up warm the same with weather.
When someone says bless you after a sneeze.
Jumping into freezing cold water.
Yawning - Satisfying. :)
Getting a piece of paper in the bin, makes the feeling of fail become cool and you can't wait to fail again!
The all round awkwardness of Amble scramble.
Finding the end of the sellotape roll.
Getting a phonecall from a close friend or someone you've just been thinking about.
Texting without looking.
Picking dried PVA off your fingers.
Stupid, pointless facts that everyone deserves to know!
Handmade forts!
Playfights with siblings.
Bubble wrap, do i need to explain?
When you get the answers right on who wants to be a millionaire/University challenge.
Silence and thinking time.
Welcome to The cooool side of the pillow.
The five second rule!
Getting carried theres the increased visibility and the weight off your feet! Piggy backing!!!
High fives and hugs.
Etc, i may post a 'what i love' quote every day. :)
S.

It fills the sails of boats that are waiting, waiting to sail your worries away

title? Hushabye mountain.
So, last night was TRULY AMAZING!! The girls all looked gorgeous! Lucy looked AMAZING! The boys scrubbed up well, Tom looked fabulous!! Tres handsome ;) haha.
We had an hour and a half to get ready, my necklace broke but we managed to fix it thank god!! :) Fab time at hannahs. :) Just wow! I bought a dress yesterday. :F And some gorgeous killer heels haha, my feet are killing me now though i'm telling you.
But i think it was a tremendous success i loved it! I didn't want it to end, had the best time! Dancing, friends, music, Tom an amazing night all round and dressing up made me feel all that more special even if i did look a bit dodgy lets say. HAHA. :)
It was great though! Thanks Lucy for a fabulous night honey. :)
So we got to sleep at about 3 andthen me and Hannah woke up at half 9 with maddy folloing at 9.50/55 haha. :) We had breakfast then at half ten i got dropped back home and i started on my art straight away and then tidied up and washed up the little washing up there was then i had a lovely relaxing bath! Then back to art then Tom came rund at about 5 and then he left at 13 minutes past 8 when the bus was at quarter past haha! Whoops. :S :L but he got a lift so it's fine! Maddy and our eyelash/bus stop scenarios! Haha.
Now i'm alternating between MSN, art and textiles. :)
S. Pearls, Lace and dancing in killer heels shal put some pictures up! :) Hopefully there not awful havn't looked yet!

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle.

Title? Missy higgins - scar.
I found this poem and i wanted to share it;

For winter`s rains and ruins are over,
and all the seasons of snows and sins;
the day dividing lover and lover,
the light that loses, the night that wins;
and time remembered is grief forgotten,
and frost are slain and flowers begotten,
and in green underwood and cover
blossom by blossom the spring begins...
plesure, with pain for leaven;
summer, with flowers that fell;
remembrance fallen from heaven,
and madness risen from hell

S. rememberance day, poppies and hundertwasser.

from Atalanta in Calydon by Algernon Charles Swinburne

and i'll be there just helping you out, whenever i can.

i'm sorry.

CHIN MUSIC?

That's right i saw a blog talking seriously about 'Chin music' i now have a new ambition in life... here is a quote..
'Please join us for the next evening of Chin Music'
'Other writers to be featured in Chin Music this season include'
I man wth seriously! But yeah, if i ever need anything to fall back on i have my chin music! I could make a living out of it with my chin!
That is all.

I sing of a maiden...

So, where to start... ok at the begginnning that would be a very good place to start. :)
So, saturday was cool, i revised, and then at about half 6 Tom picked me up and wewent to this firework party 'Yer tis' haha! And we stayed there for a while, was quite hilarious! And we hada few drinks, had a pasty and watched the bonfire and fireworks. Then Sunday was nice. :) I spent the day with Tom at his nans. :) We went for a walk with the dogs, i was realy nice :) had a lovely meal! It was deeeelicious i am telling you! Then we went back to his after almost getting kicked in the face by the horses... haha. His family are lovely. We got back and watched Twilight haha. :) I love it! Can't wait til new moon. Neither can Tom. ;)
So have had 5 exams so far and many more to come, it feels like fridayyy. :/ so, yesterday we had English and sociology, i wrote 11 pages for english and 9 for sociology so hopefully some of it makes sense... then today i had one of my french papers, R.E and Biology. R.E went well hopefully, again, 9 pages, Bio was not in the best of moods had a lot on my mind but hopefully (yn) and French, everyone found it hard except me so i'm now expecting a fail. :/ I am really quite worried about my grades maths mostly as i need a C to do A levels and i'm currently on a D foundation but nowi' concentrating and hopefully i'll be getting a C in my next paper as it is worth 45% of the grade. I do NOT want to be doing level 2 courses just because of maths! :/
Carys sent me a letter today. ;) I was pretty darn pleased! HAHA. WTH, seriously girl! I mean.. whoa!! Haha, frogs and let's not go into Brazil...
So, i went to this 'Petroc' evening last night, again they told us everything we know but i signed up for his thing about a magazine, photography, fashion design. sets, lighting, media etc it was only for parents but they said i may aswell put my name down and they'll get in touch. :) which is cool.
I have so much revision to do it's cold and dark although it's only quarter to 5. :/ Cup of tea me thinks. Tom, i love you.
And i should probs explain the title well me and Maddy were planning to sing this in the concert but we'll see how it goes with Mr Street because he is treating us like dirt atm so me Maddy Beth and Vicky have decided that until he lets Beth do her piano piece we're not going to senior choir, we're not rehearsing St Matthews passion for the christmas concert and there not running junior choir and were not doing our solo piece and so without that he doesn't really have much of a show, it sounds horrible but the way he spoke to us he deserves it 'twisting his words' god he's a spiteful litle man.
S. Exams, roundhouse horse kicking and Petroc...

Falling from grace with that look on your face, just misunderstood.

Hmm, just felt like writing this i guess? Obviously not my life, but the life of a fictional character. :)

The road ahead, empty and full of surprising twists and turns. One day, my life's amazing, times on your side, the next, your world comes crashing down, crushing your aspirations and all thoughts of normality. Your battling with yourself and your repetitive mind. Somethings triggered and the mask is put to one side and your fighting for the higher ground. Desperately trying to stay sane in the minority of one, against the rest of the world, of course with a little exception several glasses of red wine to help you think a little straighter. No one realises the emptiness carried within me, deep inside, I'm silently screaming out for help and no one can hear me I'm alone, yet unbroken, until I fall, further than before, i go slightly off course, a slip of the tongue and I'm taken back, into the pit of insanity, swimming in the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and the indescribable darkness it brings. Nothing the same as before, every things changed, your beliefs; contradicted, your friends; betrayed, your life? A continuous circle of madness and misunderstanding. But you fight, you fight to pull yourself out of reach from the depths, your on the brink and your unbroken until you put a foot wrong and uncontrollably slip over the edge once again, falling, always fighting, always just out of reach, when it pulls you back in, writhing and screaming. Your mind cartwheeling back and forth over the same things. Impractical and irrational, up until breaking point. Up until i can't take much more, the constant anticipation of the next experience, suppressing it. It folds and crumbles and then I fall away, into the dark, forever, and i'm safe and warm inside my mind. Inside that humid shell, away from humanity, sanity and the irrationality of my petty thoughts. Smiling as I sink into another highly diverse reality, where nothing can touch me, into a place where happiness lurks in every crevice of my head and darkness is non-existant where the distant sound of music lulls me into a deep, eternity of sleep and with love in close proximity, i fade and i'm cancelled out of existence within seconds. As if i was never here...



I feel this painting by Edvard Munch - The scream best describes the misunderstanding and obvious discomfort of this piece. It shows that the world surrounding him takes no notice of his insanity and fear and it's so obvious if people just looked and cared they would understand but instead they just look on, unknowingly.

Slightly depressing i know, but hey! It's late. :)
S.

Fireworks exploding in the night, red, blue, green, the sheer delight.

Title? Extract from a poem i wrote in year 5 haha.
So, tonight me and Tom went to a fireworks/bonfire party thing in South Molton haha. :) Was nice, thank you. :) Hand in hand staring into the glowing fire entranced by the debris slowly being devoured by the flames whilst the fireworks explode into the cloudless, starry night. The Macarena being played far behind us. Haha. :)
I have SO much coursework and revision to do, i'v done some more art, but i need to revise for the mocks. :/
Tonight was nice, even with inbredsand alcoholic 4 year olds... haha. :)
I love you. Btw, you havn't blogged in awhile so... get on that. ;)
Anyways, i'll hopefully see you tommorow. :)
My headphones have decided to stop working again and i have chocolate tiffins. :) Yum.
Goodnight. S. Pasties, fireworks and thought provoking ideas.

Truths the only key when your locked in a world of lies.

Title? Emma.
So,today was ok, an average day in th life of Sadie Fox i had an r twiight, and i have finalligured out what i'm going to do i nthe exam next week, which i'm happy with as i now have inspiration rather than pointles pictures and words. Nw its coming together and i'm happy about that. Math's.. now that' different stor, when i concentrate i'm on fire!totherie im just... ditractedas i find any opputunity not to work. :/ But yeah, :) going to Shapland with Tom tmo for bonfire night hopefully. :) can't wait. :)
Anyways, i'm kind of busy at the moment, so i'll get off now. :)
S. Free texts, 'Why so serious' and AO1.

'Its 'coz i love you <3'

Title? Tom. :) When i slept over the other night i had a shower and Tom made me tea, croissant, biscuits and of course, werthers orignals. Next to it was a note that read 'It's 'cos i love you :)' and brought it to me outside the bathroom! And it just makes me smile. That guy today who started randomly talking to us, he has a point, you treat me like a queen, you are so good to me and i don't know how to show my appreciation towards you. :) We always act so much differently in school compared to out of school, it's wierd huh? But, i guess it's normal. :) But yeah, so heres to you babe. We need to talk more too. :) I know were talking about how we don't like troubling each other with our issues and stuff, but i love you, and i'd rather know and listen and stuff two heads are better than one. :) 'Love is at the root of everything good that ever happened.' This is from the Blackberry advert, But it's true, if you have such a passion or love for something or someone, amazing things can happen.

I feel that atm i'm so obsessed and distracted with the future at the moment that i'm forgetting today and the fact that i need to secure today, to secure tommorow. I don't want to miss the wonerful moments that are here and now by looking farf ahead in the future, i mean yeah, of course we're looking to our future but i mean atm, it's all college, uni, careers, and i mean, this is our last year at school, these are some of the best years of our lives, and we're blowing that away by constantly living by tommorows expectations.
S. Tractor tread socks, Mr P, Mr P, Mr P, Mr P-laza and protease.

won't you take me to.... CHINATOWN.

So. :) It's the 2nd of November huh?
The day after Kaths much anticipated birthday. ;) HAHA.
you guys know what i'm saying. :) So halloween night was goood. :) The beach... (Y)haha, Smileys, me and Tim were just on the trampoline then HLy's which was fab then the GigTom was playing. :) Fab, especially in Paranoid. :) then back to HLys. :) It was FUN! Haha, me and HLy's spooning sesh, Beggon, Singstar, little OCD habits, gangster films and fun times. ;)
Last night was fab at Kath's birthday meal. :) I have the chopsticks as proof! Haha, now of COURSE we went to a Chinese restaurant it i after all, Kath.
Guess what i got her? A space hopper, a rubber duck, a glow in the dark rubber duck, a colour changing rubber duck and some celebrations. She better be amused a bathtimes/all the time with these... i will assure you, you will.... ¬¬ ;)
Yeah it was good! :) So iv got some pictures of half term. :) And the weekend me and Ash went to Exeter and wen i took pictures around here before Ben Ferne beach thing.
Anways, i'm off to do some art and stuff. :) i have SO much to do, so little inspiration...:/
S. Space hoppers, Noodles, and oodles of Art.

(P.s a few pics of t Matthew Passion too.)