Falling from grace with that look on your face, just misunderstood.

Hmm, just felt like writing this i guess? Obviously not my life, but the life of a fictional character. :)

The road ahead, empty and full of surprising twists and turns. One day, my life's amazing, times on your side, the next, your world comes crashing down, crushing your aspirations and all thoughts of normality. Your battling with yourself and your repetitive mind. Somethings triggered and the mask is put to one side and your fighting for the higher ground. Desperately trying to stay sane in the minority of one, against the rest of the world, of course with a little exception several glasses of red wine to help you think a little straighter. No one realises the emptiness carried within me, deep inside, I'm silently screaming out for help and no one can hear me I'm alone, yet unbroken, until I fall, further than before, i go slightly off course, a slip of the tongue and I'm taken back, into the pit of insanity, swimming in the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and the indescribable darkness it brings. Nothing the same as before, every things changed, your beliefs; contradicted, your friends; betrayed, your life? A continuous circle of madness and misunderstanding. But you fight, you fight to pull yourself out of reach from the depths, your on the brink and your unbroken until you put a foot wrong and uncontrollably slip over the edge once again, falling, always fighting, always just out of reach, when it pulls you back in, writhing and screaming. Your mind cartwheeling back and forth over the same things. Impractical and irrational, up until breaking point. Up until i can't take much more, the constant anticipation of the next experience, suppressing it. It folds and crumbles and then I fall away, into the dark, forever, and i'm safe and warm inside my mind. Inside that humid shell, away from humanity, sanity and the irrationality of my petty thoughts. Smiling as I sink into another highly diverse reality, where nothing can touch me, into a place where happiness lurks in every crevice of my head and darkness is non-existant where the distant sound of music lulls me into a deep, eternity of sleep and with love in close proximity, i fade and i'm cancelled out of existence within seconds. As if i was never here...



I feel this painting by Edvard Munch - The scream best describes the misunderstanding and obvious discomfort of this piece. It shows that the world surrounding him takes no notice of his insanity and fear and it's so obvious if people just looked and cared they would understand but instead they just look on, unknowingly.

Slightly depressing i know, but hey! It's late. :)
S.